INTJ INFP Relationships? | Truity
I highly recommend INFP for the socially obtuse INTJs like myself. The most unusual thing about our relationship, according to our friends. Let's look at some of the reasons why your INTJ INFP relationship might struggle. If you are going to make this romantic partnership survive, you'll have to. There doesn't seem to be much information regarding the INTJ/INFP dynamic, especially in romantic relationships. From the little I have read.
This may inspire them to gather as many facts and self-help strategies as they can regarding human psychology and relationships. While there is certainly nothing wrong with doing so, it may not always remedy their predicament in the way they might expect. For one, INTJs with a history of relational difficulties can be prone to attribute those failures to psychological problems in their partners, thereby failing to see their own shortcomings.
While not necessarily their fault, this should comprise at least as much of their relational attention as trying to see and diagnose problems in their partners. To be fair, accurate self-evaluation can be a problem for all J-types, since their preferred mode of Judging Fe or Te is directed outwardly rather than inwardly.
This is one reason why typology can be so useful for INTJs, as well as other types. One of the hallmarks of Fi is a desire to preserve and defend the uniqueness of the individual. Related to a strong concern for the individual is the Fi desire to aid the weak, helpless, and marginalized of society.
This is why IFPs, for instance, can often be found helping the homeless, working with children with special needs, protecting endangered species, etc.
Once we add Fi into the mix, it is not hard to see how INTJs might be attracted, even if unconsciously, to rescuing and fixing those who seem needy or helpless. The relationship then becomes a sort of psychotherapeutic forum, with the INTJ working to analyze, diagnose, and treat his wounded partner. It zeroes in on the unique features of the individual and grows deeply attached to those qualities.
While INTJs may not experience the consistent strength of feeling that FP types do, they are nonetheless influenced by the less conscious workings of Fi, which helps inspire loyalty, love, and commitment.
This makes it a highly alluring function, powerful enough to inspire a fierce and protracted tug-of-war with the dominant function. Money also relates to status, another Se-related desire. They may, for instance, feel forced to perform unfulfilling work that fails to utilize their Ni-Te gifts.
INFP and INTJ – Compatibility, Relationships, and Friendships
Or, they may struggle when the quality of a product or accuracy of information is compromised for the sake of marketability. INTJs also hate having to act before their intuition has prompted them to do so.
All of this can make the work life of INTJs rather miserable as they struggle to find a compromise between their Ni and Se concerns. Even the idea of compromise can be loathsome to INTJs, since their idealism and perfectionism are so pronounced.
This perfectionism tends to be most acute when they attempt to directly control Se outcomes, such as when making art, performing, or obsessing over money or status. When functioning healthily in Ni, however, they rarely fall into the obsessive grip of perfectionism. With that said, pairing with an SFP rarely brings lasting satisfaction to INTJs, since, as introverts, their wholeness must come from the inside out, rather than vice-versa.
A good balance can be achieved with proper delegation of duties or with the hiring of a domestic helper. Thinking-Feeling Joys Thinker will be attracted to the Feeler's compassion and warmth toward Thinker and others, which Thinker may find lacking in self. Feeler is attracted to the objective, tough-minded Thinker who can take and give criticism without taking offense.
The Thinker-Feeler partnership will provide all rounded perspectives, considering people, values and logical consequences when making important decisions. Struggles Thinkers may hurt Feelers with their straightforward and sometimes tactless words; Feelers tend to take words personally; so when the Thinker provides negative feedback, it always evokes a larger than expected reaction from the Feeler.
Thinkers may not understand the Feeler's desire for harmony and hence avoidance of conflict. Thinkers often misinterpret Feeler's behavior and deem them complicated. Feelers also tend to show affection much more naturally and sometimes they may feel their Thinking counterparts don't show enough of it; they may feel unfulfilled in the relationship.
Judging-Perceiving Joys Judgers enjoy making decisions for the relationship while Perceivers are happy just to let Judgers do so. Perceivers are happy to go with the flow according to the Judger's opinions, and they are generally okay with most casual decisions.
Because of their organized and scheduled nature, Judgers bring a stability and order to the otherwise messy and spontaneous lives of Perceivers - something that the Perceivers greatly appreciate. Perceivers, on the other hand, help Judgers to lighten up and see the fun side of life, bidding them to be less serious and uptight about everything - something that the Judgers know they need a reminder of.
Struggles However, Judgers find Perceivers to be too passive and casual with their indecisiveness - Sometimes this gets on the nerves of Judgers. Judgers find that Perceivers care little about household organization, something which they value highly. Perceivers are likely to mess up the house because they don't like to keep things neat and orderly at least in the Judger's eyes - this of course drives Judgers crazy.
INFP and INTJ - Compatibility, Relationships, and Friendships - Personality Growth
Judgers may also find the Perceiver's lack of planning and scheduling to be irritating; they may try to organize the Perceiver's life as a result - this of course, is a mistake and something that Perceivers do not always appreciate. However, personality dynamics are more complex than this.
It does not just extend to the difference or similarity in individual preferences but goes deeper than that.