Meet the Spartans () - Rotten Tomatoes
gtfd.info movie review and see our movie rating for Meet The Spartans. EPIC MOVIE) lazy, juvenile comedy takes no potshots at MEET THE PARENTS. People Who Like this movie also like UK Critics Consensus: Rocknrolla Rocks, Disaster Movie = Movie Disaster Audience Reviews for Meet the Spartans. ½. QUICK TAKE: Comedy: Ancient Spartans try to defend their homeland from invading Persians in this spoof of the movie "" and other.
Leonidas tells Queen Margo that if she died, he'd play the field, adding that he's always wanted to "do" a "fat chick. A Paris Hilton look-alike says she wants to be a Spartan warrior, and asks the men if they've seen her video referring to a real-life Internet sex tapeand suggestively runs her hand up and down on a spear shaft.
Following a battle, the Spartans drink beer in a mock beer commercial, with the announcer commenting on their war mongering and latent homosexual behavior, all as Leonidas downs some erectile dysfunction pills. We see several views aerial and side of Queen Margo lying fully nude on a massage table. She has tomato slices cover her nipples prompting one man to state, "Nice tomatoes" and a slice of pizza covering her crotch. As she turns over, we see her bare back, as well as brief and partial views of the side of her bare breast.Little Fockers Spill Review
Queen Margo longingly gazes at her sweaty male gardener, who holds his leaf blower in a phallic way. Some models on a spoof of Deal or No Deal show cleavage. Traitoro stares at Queen Margo's cleavage her words become muffled to him and knowing she needs his help for him to help her husband, she lowers her top we don't see anything, but do her a "boing" sound representing his unseen erection.
He excitedly states, "Awesome, I'm so getting laid" and "Goodbye virginity," adding that it won't last long as he has ED erectile dysfunction. She replies that's okay as she has crabs and we see a close-up view of her panty-style bottom that has aquatic crabs crawling all over it.
Kid reviews for Meet the Spartans
Sex is implied but not seen, as he later refers to her as a "slut. A Paris Hilton look-alike then tells Xerxes that she doesn't bow down to himbut "I do bend over.
As the Spartans prepare to battle the Persians, half of them jump on the backs of others, including Sonio on Leonidas. Leonidas then tells the young man to adjust his sword as it's digging into his back, with Sonio stating his sword isn't there an erection joke. During a battle, an opponent is speared, with the camera angle giving the spear a phallic symbolism from the man holding it.
Two male dead bodies lie on top of each other, one with its face in the other's crotch and vice versa. A man looks at another man carrying a box, he says, "he has a huge package" and asks yet another man for an introduction. A husband tells his wife that she should move on if he dies, he says he'd "play the field" if she died and that he has always wanted to have sex with a heavy set woman he uses crude terms.
A man says of another man: A man pulls on a chain attached to a nipple ring, the ring pulls off along with his nipple, and he then staples the nipple back with a staple gun. An elderly woman strikes a boy, the boy falls down, the boy punches the woman in the face and we see her dentures fly out of her mouth.
A man punches a boy in the face he falls to the ground. A woman punches a man in the face we hear a crunch. A woman is given a very rough massage, we hear crunching and we see the masseuse jumping on top of her.
A man is stabbed in the forehead with a hypodermic needle labeled Botox and falls back onto the ground. Many people are forced to jump off a high cliff and into water below.
Two armies charge toward each other, crash together and fall to the ground. A woman is struck in the head with a large shield she falls to the ground. A man holds a sword to a man's throat. A woman is struck in the head by a laptop thrown by a man she falls to the ground unconscious.
Meet the Spartans Movie Review
A blind man punches a man standing near him and then walks into a rock wall. A man with a fire extinguisher puts out a flaming skeleton.
Slashing their way through their foes, they also employ a drug-filled syringe, step dancing and shock talk as weapons on the confined battlefield. However, the story is a mere sidebar in a script that is constantly interrupted with famous look-alikes, television parodies and commercial breaks. Beer brands, sandwich shops, and web sites are among the products plugged in random fashion throughout this film that, like its predecessors, drags snippets of recent theatrical releases on to the screen.
Along with violence, the movie is swamped with crude sexual humor, buttock nudity, anatomically altered males and frequent, offensive homosexual jokes.
SCREEN IT! PARENTAL REVIEW: MEET THE SPARTANS
Banal bathroom comedy and derogatory remarks are packed in alongside profanities and an obviously bleeped sexual expletive.
With little plot to tie this hodgepodge of clips and cameos together, the steady barrage of coarse content often feels more like a torture treatment than entertainment. After sitting through more than an hour of this raw humor, I can think of at least reasons not to Meet the Spartans.
- Meet the Spartans
- Parents Guide
Theatrical release January 24, Updated July 17, About author Kerry Bennett Kerry Bennett is interested in media from both a journalist and parent perspective.
Along with authoring articles for several family-oriented publications, she has written for Parent Previews for over 15 years.