The Sponsor/Sponsee Relationship | The Recovery Village
When you're newly in recovery, a new relationship is frankly the last thing you need. Since the relationship between a sponsor and a sponsee. A sponsor should be a person the sponsee can be comfortable with and one with whom the sponsee can feel free to discuss very personal issues. As nouns the difference between sponsor and sponsee is that sponsor is sponsor while sponsee is.
Have a test period If possible, take a two week trial period for the sponsorship relationship to see if this is a good match. Because there are not many available sponsors, we may jump at any opportunity.
However, as with any relationship, it may not work for a variety of reasons. Yes, we all work our DA HOW program in the same basic way, but there are different personalities and small variations.
For instance, some sponsors insist you call if there is additional spending, while others are fine if you text.
Sponsee (commercial) | Definition & Meaning | Optimy Wiki
When you have a trial period, it may sting, but will be far less painful if one or the other says it is not working out. In this case, there is generally no need for explanation because you have not established a long-term relationship.
One can simply be gracious and thank the other for the opportunity to work with him or her and move on. It is always kind to leave an open door in case the situation turns around and the sponsor needs to be sponsored.
One never knows what life brings. But if one is kind and lets go without blame in such a case, there will never be resentment or a need to apologize later. This is where a strong network comes in.
Often, we may think we are being hurt when in reality, our sponsor is simply showing us our defects and aiding us in our spiritual growth. Please pray, meditate, and talk to your network before making a move rather than stewing in your pain alone or jumping ship impulsively. The sponsor only gives you part of your 15 minutes. The sponsor is clearly multi-tasking and not listening to you. You feel like you have to walk on eggshells and do not feel safe with your sponsor.
Explaining the Roles of Sponsor and Sponsee | Sunrise House
The sponsor launches in with his or her problems during your call without being asked. The sponsor attempts to control your life in areas other than your spending. The sponsor is nasty, yells at you, or consistently criticizes you.The right way to do things as a sponser and the 5th gtfd.info
Sponsees The sponsee consistently misses the call entirely or calls late. The sponsee is nasty or yells at you.
The sponsor/sponsee relationship
The sponsee call consistently goes on longer than 15 minutes. The sponsee does not respect boundaries of when to text or call at additional times, such as late at night or early morning. The sponsee lies to you. Gray areas A little less clear are the following scenarios, and I think what you do would depend on your relationship with the person: Sponsor The sponsor gives you unsolicited advice on issues unrelated to money or debt. I have been guilty of doing so and it has been helpful for a sponsee to tell me that I am doing so, giving me the opportunity to improve in that area.
You feel like the sponsor is judging your choices. In this case, if you have a strong relationship with the sponsor, I urge you to have an honest conversation about the issue. People who really value recovery want to grow in tolerance and understanding.
Sometimes, it may simply be a miscommunication.
But having the courage to speak up can prevent a resentment from brewing. The sponsor has health or other issues that cause him or her to ask you to get a temp sometimes. If you have an otherwise good relationship, it may be worth being flexible in order to maintain the relationship.
Sponsee The sponsee makes a mistake. We all make mistakes. I look for intention. If the person clearly wanted to do the right thing, but inadvertently did something wrong, that is simply a learning experience. That is not the same as deliberately spending without committing it first. The sponsee is dishonest, but it is an anomaly. I had a situation where this happened.
However, we talked it through and it was a learning experience for both of us.
But we must always remember that the sponsor is just another tool in our arsenal and not our Higher Power. If we continue to work our program, reaching out to others daily to turn over our numbers and writing, we will stay in Recovery and eventually find another sponsor. Losing a sponsor is not an excuse to debt, but some members play on this pain as a reason to do so. None of us are saints! We are all just suffering debtors trying to stay in recovery and help each other one day at a time.
I implore you not to make your recovery dependent on a sponsor. I learned years ago that people will disappoint us. People are not our program of recovery. The steps and a relationship with our Higher Power are the program. Sponsors are simply one way of carrying the message.
Do not become overly dependent on your sponsor In order to keep from making your sponsor your Higher Power, I believe that it is imperative to develop a network of people in program to turn to for support and to whom you can give service.
Remember, you are not the only call your sponsor receives and makes. He should not be the only person you turn to in times of distress. In fact, it may be best not to have your sponsor on your PRG team. I turn to my PRG team to help me with big spending decisions and pressures, while my sponsor helps me with day-to-day choices and issues. But the most important reason for having a well-developed network is that they will keep you buoyed up if you lose your sponsor until you find another.
In long-term relationships, be honest if the relationship is going south Just as with any relationship we have, it is important to treat a long-term sponsoring relationship with respect and kindness. When two people have worked together over time, a close, intimate bond of trust has been formed. Likely, the sponsee has shared parts of himself that he may never have exposed before, becoming completely vulnerable to the sponsor.
Sometimes, a sponsee is new to sobriety and the Step movement, and needs a little guidance from a mentor in order to understand the challenges and expectations of the recovery process. Sometimes, a sponsee is an experienced member of the Step movement who would like to brush up on lessons with someone else. Anyone who spends time in the movement can be a sponsee. Becoming a sponsee is relatively easy. People who wish to do so are not required to sit for an exam, pay a fee, or go through a cumbersome matchmaking process.
They simply express a wish to learn from someone else in recovery. That willingness to learn is all that is required for the relationship to begin and develop. The only hard-and-fast rule involves a willingness to change behavior in some way.
But there are informal rules that support the mission of sobriety, and working as a sponsor is one such rule, according to the Alcoholics Anonymous General Service Conference. The Step movement is founded on the idea that people can help one another to heal. Alone, it is very hard to pull together meaningful change. With the help of others, even difficult shifts seem easier to make. One of the final steps in the Step plan involves spreading the word of AA to people in need. Sponsorship is a quick and easy way to do just that.
So people may not be technically required to work as a sponsor, but they might be very strongly encouraged to do so. They might even feel pressure to do so, if they choose to follow the steps to the letter. While the Step rules do seem to imply that all participants should spread the word of AA, and while informal AA rules suggest that all people should do their part to be a sponsor, there are no similar suggestions about working as a sponsee.